How Well Do You Dance?

 

Okay so this isn’t really about dancing… what do you expect, I’m a life coach not a dance instructor.snoopy dance

In my world it is generally accepted that the meaning of the communication is the response that you get. Obvious really but not always easy to accept. You say one thing and the person you are talking with responds in an unexpected way. Of course it’s usually “their fault” for not listening properly, “twisting your words” or simply “being awkward or obtuse”. It’s sometimes great fun being on the side-lines and watching this happen to others, all the more when you can see the intended message and the mixed signals. I have found this most entertaining in texts and emails. How often I mourn the demise of punctuation. My spelling might not be spot on and my grammar is not always to be relied on but with enough commas, semi-colons and quotation marks I can usually get my message across without a major incident.

As I said, great fun to be had but when it happens to me I get so frustrated…. I should know better. So this is where the dance comes in. Of course you can dance on your own but it’s so much more rewarding when you dance with a partner, or even a group. Dancing is a remarkable example of communication at its best… and worst. Throwing shapes when you are alone with your hairbrush [alright it’s been some years since I’ve needed a hairbrush but my memory of hair is intact] is one thing, a bit like practicing that speech or proposal in front of the mirror, but when you’re with your partner or in front of the audience, that‘s when the communication needs to have certain qualities. That’s when you test out your fluency, demonstrate your purpose or make your point. That’s when you need your partner to dance with you and your audience to follow your moves. So who do you dance like? Is it John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever or David Brent in The Office? Who do you sound like when trying to impress? Winstdancing-clip-art-dancing-clip-art-2on Churchill or Del-boy Trotter?

I t strikes me that this goes far beyond talking. Life is a dance my friends, it is communication all the way. How we talk, type or text is all a reflection on our concern for life and how we think life is treating us* at the time. We communicate every second of our lives, if not with our neighbours then our environment, if not there then with ourselves. We are literally buzzing with messages from spoken word to body language, from outward expression to your inner voice and then right down into the very essence of life – cellular communication – yes your body talks to itself efl-clipart-danceall the time, even if you’re not listening. How else would it know what to do with the food you’ve just eaten?

So if life is a dance and a dance is simply communication doesn’t it make sense that there should be some simple steps that will pass on almost any dance floor? Of course there are, these might vary regionally but in essence learn the basic rules to communication and dance your way through life – enjoy new tunes, learn new moves, no need to stick to the rhythms of the past and most important of all don’t leave the floor while the band is playing.

If you want to learn more about how to make the best out of your communications drop me a line, I promise I won’t critique your spelling or punctuation unless you have a go at mine J Of course you are free to comment on my dancing and show me some moves of your own via the comments box on the “contact us” page.

Cheers for now,

Roger

*more on this – what I consider the greatest misconception – in later blog